Shropshire people encouraged to consider becoming foster parents

A Shropshire couple with three foster children are marking this year’s Foster Care Fortnight (12 to 25 May 2014) by encouraging other people to consider whether they have the character and skills needed to support and guide a vulnerable child, by providing a stable and caring home.

Sarah and John Edwards* have been foster carers for 10 years and say they would recommend it to anyone.

Foster Care Fortnight – run by charity the Fostering Network – highlights the incredible work that foster carers do, and aims to raise awareness of the need for 8,600 new foster carers across the UK.

This year’s theme is “guess who fosters”, which aims to smash stereotypes about who can and can’t foster, and highlight the skills and qualities needed to become a foster carer.

Here, Sarah explains how and why they became foster parents, their experience of fostering, and why they would encourage others to do the same.

What made you consider fostering as an option?
“Timing was a big factor.  A leaflet come through the door and we thought ‘could we do that?’ We hadn’t had any children of our own, but we thought we could offer a good home for a child. After discussing it, John said ‘come on, let’s see what it’s about’, and we called the freephone number, and attended an information session.

“From the outset, we never came into the process with any pre-conceived ideas. In fact, throughout the training we said we were not sure.  We were very open, not just to the different types of fostering but the age ranges of the children we fostered.  Many people are concerned about fostering older children because they have certain ideas about how they are.  We as adults don’t like it when people have ideas about us and I feel the same way about the kids and young people.  They just need to be given a voice and for someone to give them the time and space to use that voice.”

What age range of children did you foster and is that still the same now?
“We now foster three children – strangely enough all of them came to us at eight, and now all three are young adults.  We’re not perfect – neither are they.  We all have days when we say ‘why did we do this?’ but you would with your own family.  The eldest, who is now 19, has been with us for 10 years. He came to us as one of a sibling group and it was really important that he still retained contact with his siblings, so we all became quite involved with his brothers and other members of their family.

“One of the other children is also a teen and – to be honest – if I could have my time again I would prefer to foster the older ones. Sure there can be difficulties, but they are not insurmountable: it is just a case of being open minded. Remember these are young adults and they bring a lot to the table.  That doesn’t mean accepting something that you are not happy with; it means listen. Too many people hear but don’t listen.

Did you see any barriers to fostering?
“No. I know not having children of your own might deter people, but it shouldn’t.  I have known of others during my work on the training who felt that being disabled, or a single parent, or over 40 would stop you fostering. There are no barriers to fostering other than the ones you put there: be open, and open yourself to fostering.”

How did you find fostering from the initial enquiry to fostering panel?
“Lots of people are put off by the perception that it takes a long time. The process has speeded up now with the average assessment taking about six to nine months, but I would counter that with the fact that it needs to be thorough – this is an important thing you are doing.  I’d like to think if for whatever reason if anyone was looking after my children they should were thoroughly vetted as well.”

Would you recommend fostering?
“Absolutely! I wish we’d done it when we were younger. Of course there are days when it feels a bit overwhelming – there is no such thing as a perfect family. But I am proud of my three foster kids. They are integral to everything we do and are seen as family not just by me and John, but also by my brothers, sisters and parents.”

Any tips for people considering becoming foster parents?
“Be open. Don’t go into it with any fixed ideas of what you’d like, and don’t be judgmental.

“I know there are a lot of preconceptions out there about children in looked-after care. Look past that, be open or make your own mind up.”

How to find out more

Do you think you might have the character and skills required to provide a child or young person with a caring, stable home and positive family experiences for a short or long period?

To find out more about Shropshire’s fostering service visit shropshire.gov.uk/fostering.

There will also be a trailer in The Square, Shrewsbury on Friday 23 May from 10am to 4.30pm, when you will get the chance to talk to foster carers and social workers.

And a special event for interested people is being held on 4 June. To find out more call 0800 783 8798.

*names have been changed.